when it reigns, it poors

imagine this; a jam-packed bus winding through the tropical, poverty-stricken towns of north western ecuador. the air is thick, made thicker by the fact that most of the windows are closed. you can feel the sweat dripping down your legs. it doesnt matter if you are holding on to anything, even though the bus is jerking left and right and diagnally upwards, somehow, because there is no space to fall. just as you take your eye off the one open window BAM, it hits--a blast of water to the face.
welcome to carnaval in ecuador, where no one is safe from water or silly-string ever, at any time. carnaval is the equivalent of mardi gras, a giant party before the fasting and reflection leading up to the resurrection of JC. except carnaval lasts 4 days, and is marked by its late-night parties and the water and espuma (silly string type stuff) that everyone throws. no one is safe. last week at the last minute i decided to head to esmeraldas, a coastal town with the largest population of afro-ecuatorianos in the country. i had spoken to some couchsurfers who would be in town and i planned to meet up with them. we arrived saturday afternoon, gave juan (couchsurfer) a little ring and caught a taxi to meet him at his grandma's. the cab pulled up and we were greeted by a welcoming smile. juan mumbled something about not walking on the sidewalk, and just as i understood what he was saying we were hit with a waterfall from the balcony above. bienvenidos a carnaval :) we were soaked. i spent the weekend with a really wonderful and kind group of various couchsurfers, mostly from guayaquil, one from colombia and a few others from austria. we danced, visited beaches in the area, got blasted with water/foam, we had a grand time. caught a night bus last night, mostly to save money on accomodation, and the 5 hour ride turned into 10 when the rains finally came and washed the roads out. but all is good because la tierra has been thirsty and hasnt tasted rain like this is months.

last week i went with a friend to the museum of oswaldo guaysamín, one of the most famous artists from ecuador. his paintings most often depict exploitation, suffering, and inhumanity, particularly of indigenous people. the tears seem to drip of the paintings, and indeed my heart hurt just to be in their presence. but their truth contained a kind of redemption of humanity, that at least these voices were being heard, appreciated, admired, pinned up in museums. the most striking exhibit is the 'capilla de hombre' or chapel of man, dedicated to the people of latin america. the center of the capilla has a large dome with a circular opening at the top that sheds light on all the suffering. indeed i left shaken, breathless, yet hopeful for things to come. if you ever visit me in quito i will surely take you there :)

speaking of things to come, i am pretty sure i will be switchin from school next quarter to an internship. there is an opportunity in the north to work with a womens rights organization in a flower-producing community. while a structured school setting has its benefits, i know that this internship opportunity fits more with the goals i have for this trip--becoming fluent in spanish, challenging myself in as many ways as possible, connecting and sharing, learning about the struggles people face here. ive also been writing a lot, and think i might just try and put together some kind of something, you know ;) throw out my verse into the universe. in fact, uni-verse sounds like a poem i should write about now.

may the sun shine warm upon your face and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
laurita

the scent of eucalyptus burning

on the road

peguche falls



out of class early, picnicin

happy places

many many things have happened since i last posted. report back from the botanical gardens = my favorite place in quito thus far. i stumbled in on a friday afternoon and found myself nearly all alone with what i like to think god might be like. i purposefully didnt look at the map so that each section was a surprise, and in the back corner was the orchid/butterfly house. when i opened the door i got shivers everywhere and lost my breath. i will definitely be revisiting this hidden paradise in the midst of a crowded, polluted city to paint, to write, to breathe.

last weekend i decided to stay in quito and spend time with the fam. on saturday we went to a church service for my host dad´s mother who passed away one month ago. in the catholic tradition here there is a service immediately after someone dies, one month, and one year. it seems like a good system that allows for time to grieve, reflect, and accept the death of someone close. also, families are not supposed to host parties for 6 months after a death in the family, which seems a little harsh to me. i guess i hope when i die people have a huge party with lots of colorful clothing, cupcakes, cerveza, and sweet music. i mean, extended families have to get together for deaths anyways, might as well make it a sweet fiesta instead of a sob fest (although tears will be perfectly acceptable at my 'life-passing celebratory extravaganza´). after the service the whole fam walked to a restaurant and feasted.

on sunday we got up very early to hit up papallacta, a small town in the north that folks from quito often visit for its hot springs. my host cousin, carlita, also accompanied us and she is a sweetie. the springs were so relaxing, in fact i dont know that ive seen my host dad that relaxed thus far. right next to the caliente agua was a small agua frio pool, and part of the detoxification process is to jump back and forth from the freezing water to the hot water. this in and of itself was a great bonding experience, although i couldnt manage to drag my host mom into the cold water (sounds a lot like another mama i have... :) )

monday and tuesday it was back to spanish class. wednesday we had a class trip to the north, packing so much into 2 days that i dont even remember half the names of towns we visited. what i do remember was a small town that is famous for its crafting of musical instruments. we got to watch a fellow make a rondador. wikipedia says this; The rondador is a set of chorded bamboo panpipes that produces two tones simultaneously. It consists of pieces of cane, placed side by side in order by size and closed at one end, and is played by blowing across the top of the instrument. The rondador is considered the national instrument of Ecuador. and i bought one which i am really excited to learn how to use. we also visited a beautiful waterfall in peguche.

wednesday night we went to a small town in the hills outside of ibarra to have a 'cultural exchange with an indigenous community.' as you can imagine, i was extremely curious as to what this experience would be like. ive noticed a homogenised description of 'indigenous communities,' which in reality are quite diverse. i was also weary of a packaged and contrived experience, a kind of exploitation of culture. but what i found was quite different. the indigenous community of san clemente was devastated, as was the rest of the country, by dollarization in 2001. in response, they started an ecotourism project that would allow them to sustain their culture and traditions while sharing it with foreigners. the community is democratically (as far as i can tell) self-governed and because of this project, has greatly improved their standard of living. and of course, it was absolutely beautiful. almost too picturesque to be real. there were fireflies. we went on a hike through the forest to learn about medicinal plants. we danced the night away. it was so lovely that after our class trip was over, we spent a night in ibarra only to return to san clemente the next day to ride horses up a mountain. at the moment i am lacking words to describe just how beautiful this experience was, so i think i will just post some photos when i can get on a computer that isnt so ancient. oh and the most vivid part about it all, the scent of eucalyptus burning fills the town of san clemente and the surrounding hillsides. mmmmm.

got in last night to quito and today i am going to hit the books at a colombian bakery near by--i have a midterm this week! not sure where the time has gone. this afternoon a couchsurfer is hosting a 'free hugs quito' in la plaza foch, and im not sure i can miss out on this one.

is my english worse? im sure it must be, because i am finding that my english and spanish have an inverse relationship; as my spanish fluency increases my english spelling and grammar takes a dive.

until we cyber-meet again,
your most humble blogger

chanda mama chanda mama raavayya

(ok before you read, open up this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb4RauhteFA and this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEDZcIu9T3o and listen in this order ;) )


photography exhibit exposing the horrors of bullfighting

playing charades in spanish class :)

we prepared typical ecuadorian dishes for class :)


this is the part where i get to ramble on about random things that have occurred since my last installment. so i´ve been having trouble with my visa. well its not really me thats been having trouble, rather immigrations inability to effectively ink and stamp. so i already paid a pretty penny to have a piece of paper express mailed here so i wouldnt have to pay 200 dollars for...?? not sure. and apparently one number on the stamp they put on my passport is illegible because there wasnt enough ink. this is somehow my fault and ive had been chasing the illusory gods of immigration around the city for days. yesterday i was ghost-hunting with sergio, the lovely fellow at CIMAS responsible for security, and for some reason he thought it was necessary to run everywhere, jajajaja. all i could manage to say was en serio?? the altitude still makes me out of breath, or maybe im out of shape. no its the altitude :)

so this whole living with a family has been a beautiful learning experience. pretentious me thought 'bah, ive done this before. piece of cake.' but it definitely has been challenging. everywhere i go i am asked a million questions about my exact plans, who i will be with, where they are from, their cell numbers, address, their family history, i have to draw a pedigree, etc. presently, the best way ive figured out how to deal with it is to smile and say, 'soy un pájaro libre' which means, 'im a free bird.' im not so great at making specific plans, part of how i feel my way through the world. the best part about the pajaro libre is that its kind of a joke, yet i am still getting my point across. all about the smiles. my family is very loving and i know they just dont want anything aweful to happen to me.

spanish class has been pretty great. our teacher is the sweetest lady and is never too proud to explain to us all those awkward words/mannerisms/phrases that gring@s tend to awkwardly use (my favorite yet is the verb 'introducir' which really means to insert, but gringos often use it instead of the proper verb 'presentar.' just imagine saying to someone 'let me insert joe to you.' uh huh.) we have a small class, only 7 of us, and much of the time is spent giggling. remember that part i told you about reverting back to 5th grade? well it might have gotten worse since then, pretty soon i will be a 4 year old. but when you learn a new word in a different language, like 'cheap' for example, it suddenly becomes incredibly funny to say something like 'laura is cheap.' i think it has something to do with the sense of accomplishment of being able to make something resembling a joke in a different language...trust me it is actually funny. seriously. for realz.

in other news, i met up with some couchsurfers for the first time the other night! we all met at a bar, listened to some sweet live musac, and then headed off to a salsa club. i love salsa but ive been having mixed feelings about my experience there. let me just say that machismo has got me down a little. call it machismo blues (my next hit single). i must admit, i miss the playful and free nature of swingin in seattle. alas, i am determined to find my shmancing niche in this city.

i stumbled upon a bookstore yesterday with pictures of all the hummingbirds and orchids and butterflies in this country. i couldve cried. soon i will head north to the cloud forests and experience the great moisture that allows for so much diversity of life. as for today, im going to mosey on over to the botanical gardens and see if i cant befriend some orchids. hopefully the language barrier wont be too restricting.

well, whoever it is i am writing too, i will try and post some videos i have been taking soon (woot virtual home tour, get pumped).
sending and receiving love from the universe,
lala

is the one i love everywhere?

wrote my first song in a looong time the other day. and my first in spanish! a kind of ode to our mother earth. my host family has a guitar and i am sooo greatful for it, a long lost love rekindling slowly, tenderly.
returned at 5 am this morning from a weekend on the coast! we left thursday evening for a 11 hour bus ride, winding across the country that feels like all the worlds time in one space. sat next to the other laura (she is laura and i am laurita) the whole way. she showed me the music she loves and i sat in awe as she signed them all. ASL is an incredible language, much more expressive in a way that auditory/verbal language can never be. this might very well be my next endeavor.
we stumbled into the humid beach town of puerto lopez before it awoke and went straight for the beach. all we wanted to do was rest but for some reason we couldnt help but attract packs of wild mating dogs and drunken leftovers from last nights party. i wasnt too keen on this place and was glad when we decided to take the short trip southerly to the town of montañita--known for being a laid-back surfer town with vegetarian food and barefeet. i spent the weekend wandering around the small town, reading the only book i brought with me on this whole trip, the essential rumi, and contemplating the self-conscious nature of my existence. no answers just more questions and longings, will fill you in promptly after my discoveries. some part of all my thoughts/actions/words seem framed within a greater self-aware context. i wonder if most other people experience life this way. i long to liberate myself from this structure but the only way i can think of is to hide out in a monastery for awhile (maybe the easy way out, maybe the only way). i often find myself wondering how our world might be healed if we focused on loving ourselves more.
i have so many questions i would like to ask rumi. would like to share one of my recent favorites with you. this one is titled buoyancy. this one needs to be echoed in your mouth.

love has taken away my practices
and filled me with poetry.
i tried to keep quietly repeating,
no strength but yours,
but i couldnt.
i had to clap and sing.
i used to be respectable and chaste and stable,
but who can stand in this strong wind
and remember those things?
a mountain keeps an echo deep inside itself.
that´s how i hold your voice.
i am scrap wood thrown in your fire,
and quickly reduced to smoke.
i saw you and became empty.
this emptiness, more beautiful than existence,
it obliterates existence, and yet when it comes,
existence thrives and creates more existence!
the sky is blue. the world is a blind man
squatting on the road.
but whoever sees your emptiness
sees beyond blue and beyond the blind man.
a great soul hides like muhammad , or jesus,
moving through a crowd in a city
where no one knows him.
to praise is to praise
how one surrenders
to the emptiness.
to praise the sun is to praise your own eyes.
praise, the ocean. what we say, a little ship.
so the sea-journey goes on, and who knows where!
just to be held by the ocean is the best luck
we could have. it´s a total waking up!
why should we grieve that we´ve been sleeping?
it doesn´t matter how long we´ve been unconscious.

we´re groggy, but let the guilt go.
feel the motions of tenderness
around you, the buoyancy.

signing off for now ;)
lala oatmeal

p.s. i would love nothing more than to send you a piece of my soul via snailmail, but i didnt bring any addresses! send me yours at lkoneill@gmail.com

do the equator dance (yes is always the answer)

its funny how humor changes when communicated in a language other than our mother tongue. in english i like to think i make pretty suave, nuanced, and thoughtful jokes. ahem :) . in spanish, i am reduced to the kinds of jokes 2nd graders make (which i actually quite enjoy...). i really want to laugh with my host family, so i take the leap onto the tenuous branch of humor, hoping for that beautiful moment when they all laugh. my proudest joke yet is that of the 'bebe de comida' or 'food baby' as i like to call it. the other night, after finishing a large family dinner, i slid my chair back, rubbed my tummy, and said the equivalent of, 'i´m so full i have a food baby.' i was nervous about this one, has the potential for being a pretty awkward moment for which i have a limited vocabulary to explain myself. but they burst out in laughter! success never tasted so sweet.

this past saturday a few of us went north to a town called otavalo. its most famous for its saturday market where many indigenous folks come to sell their crafts. i restrained myself from buying anything (except ice cream and pie mmmmmmm), but what i most had my eyes on was a charango, an andean instrument and descendant of the spanish guitar (thank you colonization). i might splurge on one of these bad girls at some point, and if not that i will surely get me some panpipes, probably the most recognizable of andean instruments. i need to make musac real soon.
if everything must belong somewhere, i belong half-hanging out a bus winding through anywhere in the world. on the way out to otavalo i couldnt help but hang my head out the window the whole way there. some of the most beautifully contemplative moments ive had were spent on buses, and i feel a familar comfort-love in such a place.

yesterday i went with a friend to the 'mitad del mundo'--the center of the world! its nothing too special, a monument and a big red line. on sundays there is a band that plays, and surely the highlight was dancing along the equator with all the people there. other than shmancing, i couldnt get too much into the awe of this human-made, sort of abritrary line we have drawn across the world. i suppose i dont like lines too much in general. i mean i understand the convenience of drawing lines, but its not anything do get your trousers in a bundle about. what is interesting, however, is that because ecuador is right at the middle of the world, it receives hella (ahem marcy) direct sunshine. do you know what that means? lots of nutrience to make for an incredibly bio-diverse country for its size.
when i got home last night my mamsita greeted me in candlelight, power out, and a new puppy! GAAAH!!! grinji is the love i have been waiting for and is currently passed out on the couch. well i need to head to school and learn me some spanish.
lovin you,
l
p.s. listen to bill frisells shenandoah and you will be swimming with me through ecuadorian landscapes and a sea of love.

love is the best sensation hiding in the lions mane

ayayay. the past week has been a rollercoaster of a lot of things. ive been avoiding posting because i didnt want to say anything but how great everything is. but what kind of honest, heart-felt blog would that be? entonces, the first week wasnt sparkly and giddy at all. in fact, it was quite rough (the product of which was a return to the words of thich nhat hanh and meditation, all good things). being thrown into a group of americans who are supposed to automatically be your best friends is never easy. i dont do well with shallow interactions. i am ready to go! to live! i want to share everything i know and love. i want to know what your soul is made of. i have to remind myself, of course, that many people are very different from me. i also really dont like being in large groups of americans in a foreign city. we are loud, stand out, and its almost impossible to meet people.
my host family is kind but my parents are working almost all the time, and it was sort of overwhelming to be stranded in a foreign house, not supposed to go outside because its dangerous. and of course, there are many cultural differences. it sort of feels like I am a 12 year old in the eyes of my parents, so im intrigued to see how things will play out. buuuut, ive been figuring it out! of course things have gotten much more enjoyable.
today we went into the historic old part of town. on the trolley on the way there we went through a giant protest of union workers. all i wanted to do was jump out and chant with them, but for one its illegal for me to participate in protests here, and two i really have no right to engage in such an event. i also met some chilean backpackers on the bus…but i had to remind myself that i cant just go with them around south america, i am in school now! this is a different kind of trip ;)at least for now.
aight, well i need to get home or mi madre will be terribly worried.

beeesooos,
lala

a lil tease

m.t., spanish hw on the roof

my roof ;)

rosita y yo

el panecillo

finally found a way to upload photos, but i need to sleeeeeep so will write more later.

love,

laurita