i always thought i would know exactly what to say, what to do, at least do something...anything. a few days ago i was sexually assualted for the third time, by a man, in the middle of the street, when i was walking with a group of friends. its as if when his hands grabbed me they took my voice with them. i had no words, not in english and certainly not in spanish. in that instant i couldnt believe someone would grab me there on purpose, it was a mistake. it must have been an accident. 2 seconds later, i realize that was definitely not an accident and i am furious and confused but the man is gone. i promised myself i would never be silent, but how can i have words or actions in a moment where a complete strange is violating the temple of my soul. i am writing about it now because i think its really important to talk about together, important for all of us to share our experiences, to challenge. the idea that any women in practically any part of the world is less safe than a man (and/or more vulnerable to sexual assault) is a ridiculously normalized collective understanding. my body is not something that is accessible to grab, it is not an object, it is not available for consumption. and yet over and over and over we make excuses, that it was just some asshole--a bad apple, or that it was HER fault because she wasnt covering her entire body. i met an indian lady the other day who told me about how when she was barely 10 men would push her of her bike in the street and touch her. she would go home crying but all her mother would do is say im sorry. we cannot continue making excuses and allowing this behavior to be acceptable. and what i am to do? someone who believes whole-heartedly that peace is every step--when i want to beat the shit out of people who do things like this, to me, to young girls. i still dont know how to react when i am personally faced with these situations. and if it happens again i will probably be just as speechless. but im not going to stop doing what i do, that would be another way of allowing this to continue. i will continue to travel, to walk alone when i want to, i will not stay in the house all day like so many women i have met to keep away from the harrassment (i do not blame them), the patriarchy. i wish we could realize that all of these things are a similar struggle. that when i am sexually assaulted, it is as much an isolated situation with a jerk as it is intimately tied to the objectification of womens bodies in the media and pornography, domestic violence, dowry murders, sexist jokes, and the fact that women in america are still not paid equal wages for equal work. it has permeated so much of our vision that we are nearly blind to it. i feel so much pain for the suffering in the world and yet under it all, all i can do is love love love. i know that these men are suffering too.
phew. i feel better now. currently i am in cuenca but not in the mood to blog about all that now, another day. thanks for listening :)
"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it. "
Monday, March 22, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
tarea stallin, jungle ferverin
first things first, this is the track im currently spinnin (you know the drill sorry still cant hyperlink) let us listen together http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hbq13bLylCY and then check this out and tell me your hips dont sway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js0rKmv-0Iw
the last few weeks have been a beautiful blur of all-night cuban music, day-sleeping, spanish classin, jungle walking, etc. dios mio.
friday night met up with some new friends and happened upon a tiny bar where a cuban band was playing. turns out a friend of mine is a friends with the trumpet player who apparently played with buena vista social club, be impressed riiight NOW! their band is called ácha and they grooved allll night long. luckily it only took a few songs for the entire room to be on their feet and moving to the tunes. imagine this; lights down low, ecuadorian beer in hands and crowding small tables, cuban beats vibrating in your chest, moving. the band broke off around 2, but the trumpet player was going to a smaller bar near by to play in a latin jazz trio. que riiico. so a crew of us migrated a few blocks to continue dancing the night away. saturday i slept and that night was mas o menos a glorious repeat of the night before.
last week we had our class trip to tena, a city just on the cusp of the amazon. the highlights include; hiking through the jungle and learning about all the indigenous medicinal plants, laying in a hammock watching, visiting a local community and learning about all the things you can do with yuca.
also animals i saw that were pretty incredible include an anacanda, a tarantula that was hiding in kims boots, the largest rodent on the planet (whose name eludes ahorita, but it sounds like capibery...i think), a white ant that will send you to the hospital in two bites, leaf-cutter ants, and finally the great spider monkey (years ago someone accused me of being one and i had no idea what that meant).
overall, let me just say i sacrificed my own flesh to feed the mosquito population of tena. i just hope they are grateful because even now i still itch.
yesterday we went to my first real fútbol game, probably the best $4.5 i have spent here in ecuador. it was a college game and somehow we ended up in what seemed to be the rowdiest section of the whole stadium. before the game even started i thought there was going to be a riot--some guys had hung up the liga team flag on the fence and the police wanted them to take it down. for some reason this was something of great importance and in an instant the whole crowd was looking at the argument, making hissing noises, clearly wanting to start somethin. luckily there was an adorable 3 year old sitting in front of me, and i didnt feel it was too dangerous. at the start of the game, and random intervals, people threw blank receipt rolls onto the field, waved giant flags, and sing chants about drinking lots of cervezas and other things i couldnt make out. in any case, the game was great fun.
its currently finals week, one week break, and then MINDO! im pretty sure i told you before about mindo, but the internship is set up for sure. i think i will spend most of my days working on the farm in the mornings and perhaps volunteering at the school in the afternoons. the main goal of this project is to spread knowledge about organic agriculture and provide greater food security to the community. i have never been involved in such a grassroots social justice project, let alone at the very beginnings, and i am VERY excited to be a part of such an incredible alternative development project. i know i will learn so much.
lovin you,
lala
the last few weeks have been a beautiful blur of all-night cuban music, day-sleeping, spanish classin, jungle walking, etc. dios mio.
friday night met up with some new friends and happened upon a tiny bar where a cuban band was playing. turns out a friend of mine is a friends with the trumpet player who apparently played with buena vista social club, be impressed riiight NOW! their band is called ácha and they grooved allll night long. luckily it only took a few songs for the entire room to be on their feet and moving to the tunes. imagine this; lights down low, ecuadorian beer in hands and crowding small tables, cuban beats vibrating in your chest, moving. the band broke off around 2, but the trumpet player was going to a smaller bar near by to play in a latin jazz trio. que riiico. so a crew of us migrated a few blocks to continue dancing the night away. saturday i slept and that night was mas o menos a glorious repeat of the night before.
last week we had our class trip to tena, a city just on the cusp of the amazon. the highlights include; hiking through the jungle and learning about all the indigenous medicinal plants, laying in a hammock watching, visiting a local community and learning about all the things you can do with yuca.
also animals i saw that were pretty incredible include an anacanda, a tarantula that was hiding in kims boots, the largest rodent on the planet (whose name eludes ahorita, but it sounds like capibery...i think), a white ant that will send you to the hospital in two bites, leaf-cutter ants, and finally the great spider monkey (years ago someone accused me of being one and i had no idea what that meant).
overall, let me just say i sacrificed my own flesh to feed the mosquito population of tena. i just hope they are grateful because even now i still itch.
yesterday we went to my first real fútbol game, probably the best $4.5 i have spent here in ecuador. it was a college game and somehow we ended up in what seemed to be the rowdiest section of the whole stadium. before the game even started i thought there was going to be a riot--some guys had hung up the liga team flag on the fence and the police wanted them to take it down. for some reason this was something of great importance and in an instant the whole crowd was looking at the argument, making hissing noises, clearly wanting to start somethin. luckily there was an adorable 3 year old sitting in front of me, and i didnt feel it was too dangerous. at the start of the game, and random intervals, people threw blank receipt rolls onto the field, waved giant flags, and sing chants about drinking lots of cervezas and other things i couldnt make out. in any case, the game was great fun.
its currently finals week, one week break, and then MINDO! im pretty sure i told you before about mindo, but the internship is set up for sure. i think i will spend most of my days working on the farm in the mornings and perhaps volunteering at the school in the afternoons. the main goal of this project is to spread knowledge about organic agriculture and provide greater food security to the community. i have never been involved in such a grassroots social justice project, let alone at the very beginnings, and i am VERY excited to be a part of such an incredible alternative development project. i know i will learn so much.
lovin you,
lala
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
fotos compartidos
possible location of my INTERNSHIP!! feel the life, the verde
quito
beachy sunset, montañita
horseback riding in the mountains in san clemente, cerca de ibarra (town of ice cream)
las dos, terraza
mi perrito y yo :)
family dinner
carnaval, esmeraldas, new friends
cocinando almuerzo con mis compañeros en mi concina
rooftop sing along, song = with arms outsretched, jenny lewis
learning about indigenous instruments, bought a rondador :)
mindo crew z-z-z-zip-linin
in the back of a truck, rain, on our way to the waterfalls
Monday, March 1, 2010
with arms outstretched
dear friends, its been awhile and i feel its about darn time we rekindle the ol´flame. i have to be honest, its hard to remember all thats happened since we last conversed. funny how time is, i always liked to think of it as water, if you try to grab it it slips faster from our hands. let it be :)
school is strangely coming to an end. and good news! i will be switching from school to an internship next quarter. it definitely feels more in line with my goals for this trip and im really ready to be outside of quito. its great but i could seriously use a break from all the concrete structures and pollution. i just about finished up my final essay, of which i wrote about the destruction of mangroves on the coast. did you know they are the most diverse areas only after the rainforest and coral reefs? they are incredibly important on so many levels, and are being destroyed at a back-breaking pace because of shrimp farms. the implications are devastating for the earth, the people, and the cultures they are trying to sustain. much of the shrimp is exported to the US, so if you care at all i recommend checking into where your shrimp comes from.
this past weekend i finally made it to the cloud forest! the town is called mindo and the minute i stepped off the bus i felt at home--a feeling i havent had until then in ecuador. it is surrounded by the lush green hills with clouds lingering always. because it is so humid, it has an ideal climate for all of my favorite things in the world: orchids, butterflies, and hummingbirds. we stayed at the hostel of a friend of a friend who happened to be starting up an organic farming project. to make a very long story short i think i will be able to do my internship here! ive been searching for weeks for the opportunity that feels right, and finally it has arrived...we will just have to see if it can really happen!
one of the many highlights of the weekend was ziplining! for a barato 15 dolars, we got to go on 13 ziplines, soaring above the forest, with arms outstretched, breathing in the life all around. it was nothing short of incredible, but to be honest i never thought i would do so much ziplining in my life. definitely had my fill. the next day we wanted to go hiking to these 7 waterfalls, and as the storm clouds rolled in we actually got more excited about the prospect of a rainy cascada adventure. the best part was that you have to take a tiny cable car (something i thought was straight out of jurassic park) across a valley to get to the trails. turns out we only had a few hours before we had to catch the cable car back, so we found ourselves soaking wet, skipping through the forest, splashing in the waterfalls. im pleasantly surprised no one broke an ankle :)
been feeling like i really need some time to just be quiet, and before my internship i have a week break. been trying to find some place i can retreat to, but ecuador is especially lacking in spiritual centers (as far as i can tell, but please prove me wrong). might just find myself a small place in the forest to relax in...or the other option some compañeros have been dreaming up is all pitching in on a tent (no pun intended) and just camping out somewhere with no plans or schedule. we will see what this pájaro libre decides in time.
i know ive been promising pictures forever, but en serio, it takes about 45 minutes to upload 5 pictures so ive been avoiding it. soooon :) :) :) there are pictures other people have posted on my facebook if you so desire.
i am so grateful for all of you beautiful people en mi vida!
paz y amor siempre,
lauri
school is strangely coming to an end. and good news! i will be switching from school to an internship next quarter. it definitely feels more in line with my goals for this trip and im really ready to be outside of quito. its great but i could seriously use a break from all the concrete structures and pollution. i just about finished up my final essay, of which i wrote about the destruction of mangroves on the coast. did you know they are the most diverse areas only after the rainforest and coral reefs? they are incredibly important on so many levels, and are being destroyed at a back-breaking pace because of shrimp farms. the implications are devastating for the earth, the people, and the cultures they are trying to sustain. much of the shrimp is exported to the US, so if you care at all i recommend checking into where your shrimp comes from.
this past weekend i finally made it to the cloud forest! the town is called mindo and the minute i stepped off the bus i felt at home--a feeling i havent had until then in ecuador. it is surrounded by the lush green hills with clouds lingering always. because it is so humid, it has an ideal climate for all of my favorite things in the world: orchids, butterflies, and hummingbirds. we stayed at the hostel of a friend of a friend who happened to be starting up an organic farming project. to make a very long story short i think i will be able to do my internship here! ive been searching for weeks for the opportunity that feels right, and finally it has arrived...we will just have to see if it can really happen!
one of the many highlights of the weekend was ziplining! for a barato 15 dolars, we got to go on 13 ziplines, soaring above the forest, with arms outstretched, breathing in the life all around. it was nothing short of incredible, but to be honest i never thought i would do so much ziplining in my life. definitely had my fill. the next day we wanted to go hiking to these 7 waterfalls, and as the storm clouds rolled in we actually got more excited about the prospect of a rainy cascada adventure. the best part was that you have to take a tiny cable car (something i thought was straight out of jurassic park) across a valley to get to the trails. turns out we only had a few hours before we had to catch the cable car back, so we found ourselves soaking wet, skipping through the forest, splashing in the waterfalls. im pleasantly surprised no one broke an ankle :)
been feeling like i really need some time to just be quiet, and before my internship i have a week break. been trying to find some place i can retreat to, but ecuador is especially lacking in spiritual centers (as far as i can tell, but please prove me wrong). might just find myself a small place in the forest to relax in...or the other option some compañeros have been dreaming up is all pitching in on a tent (no pun intended) and just camping out somewhere with no plans or schedule. we will see what this pájaro libre decides in time.
i know ive been promising pictures forever, but en serio, it takes about 45 minutes to upload 5 pictures so ive been avoiding it. soooon :) :) :) there are pictures other people have posted on my facebook if you so desire.
i am so grateful for all of you beautiful people en mi vida!
paz y amor siempre,
lauri
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
when it reigns, it poors
imagine this; a jam-packed bus winding through the tropical, poverty-stricken towns of north western ecuador. the air is thick, made thicker by the fact that most of the windows are closed. you can feel the sweat dripping down your legs. it doesnt matter if you are holding on to anything, even though the bus is jerking left and right and diagnally upwards, somehow, because there is no space to fall. just as you take your eye off the one open window BAM, it hits--a blast of water to the face.
welcome to carnaval in ecuador, where no one is safe from water or silly-string ever, at any time. carnaval is the equivalent of mardi gras, a giant party before the fasting and reflection leading up to the resurrection of JC. except carnaval lasts 4 days, and is marked by its late-night parties and the water and espuma (silly string type stuff) that everyone throws. no one is safe. last week at the last minute i decided to head to esmeraldas, a coastal town with the largest population of afro-ecuatorianos in the country. i had spoken to some couchsurfers who would be in town and i planned to meet up with them. we arrived saturday afternoon, gave juan (couchsurfer) a little ring and caught a taxi to meet him at his grandma's. the cab pulled up and we were greeted by a welcoming smile. juan mumbled something about not walking on the sidewalk, and just as i understood what he was saying we were hit with a waterfall from the balcony above. bienvenidos a carnaval :) we were soaked. i spent the weekend with a really wonderful and kind group of various couchsurfers, mostly from guayaquil, one from colombia and a few others from austria. we danced, visited beaches in the area, got blasted with water/foam, we had a grand time. caught a night bus last night, mostly to save money on accomodation, and the 5 hour ride turned into 10 when the rains finally came and washed the roads out. but all is good because la tierra has been thirsty and hasnt tasted rain like this is months.
last week i went with a friend to the museum of oswaldo guaysamín, one of the most famous artists from ecuador. his paintings most often depict exploitation, suffering, and inhumanity, particularly of indigenous people. the tears seem to drip of the paintings, and indeed my heart hurt just to be in their presence. but their truth contained a kind of redemption of humanity, that at least these voices were being heard, appreciated, admired, pinned up in museums. the most striking exhibit is the 'capilla de hombre' or chapel of man, dedicated to the people of latin america. the center of the capilla has a large dome with a circular opening at the top that sheds light on all the suffering. indeed i left shaken, breathless, yet hopeful for things to come. if you ever visit me in quito i will surely take you there :)
speaking of things to come, i am pretty sure i will be switchin from school next quarter to an internship. there is an opportunity in the north to work with a womens rights organization in a flower-producing community. while a structured school setting has its benefits, i know that this internship opportunity fits more with the goals i have for this trip--becoming fluent in spanish, challenging myself in as many ways as possible, connecting and sharing, learning about the struggles people face here. ive also been writing a lot, and think i might just try and put together some kind of something, you know ;) throw out my verse into the universe. in fact, uni-verse sounds like a poem i should write about now.
may the sun shine warm upon your face and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
laurita
welcome to carnaval in ecuador, where no one is safe from water or silly-string ever, at any time. carnaval is the equivalent of mardi gras, a giant party before the fasting and reflection leading up to the resurrection of JC. except carnaval lasts 4 days, and is marked by its late-night parties and the water and espuma (silly string type stuff) that everyone throws. no one is safe. last week at the last minute i decided to head to esmeraldas, a coastal town with the largest population of afro-ecuatorianos in the country. i had spoken to some couchsurfers who would be in town and i planned to meet up with them. we arrived saturday afternoon, gave juan (couchsurfer) a little ring and caught a taxi to meet him at his grandma's. the cab pulled up and we were greeted by a welcoming smile. juan mumbled something about not walking on the sidewalk, and just as i understood what he was saying we were hit with a waterfall from the balcony above. bienvenidos a carnaval :) we were soaked. i spent the weekend with a really wonderful and kind group of various couchsurfers, mostly from guayaquil, one from colombia and a few others from austria. we danced, visited beaches in the area, got blasted with water/foam, we had a grand time. caught a night bus last night, mostly to save money on accomodation, and the 5 hour ride turned into 10 when the rains finally came and washed the roads out. but all is good because la tierra has been thirsty and hasnt tasted rain like this is months.
last week i went with a friend to the museum of oswaldo guaysamín, one of the most famous artists from ecuador. his paintings most often depict exploitation, suffering, and inhumanity, particularly of indigenous people. the tears seem to drip of the paintings, and indeed my heart hurt just to be in their presence. but their truth contained a kind of redemption of humanity, that at least these voices were being heard, appreciated, admired, pinned up in museums. the most striking exhibit is the 'capilla de hombre' or chapel of man, dedicated to the people of latin america. the center of the capilla has a large dome with a circular opening at the top that sheds light on all the suffering. indeed i left shaken, breathless, yet hopeful for things to come. if you ever visit me in quito i will surely take you there :)
speaking of things to come, i am pretty sure i will be switchin from school next quarter to an internship. there is an opportunity in the north to work with a womens rights organization in a flower-producing community. while a structured school setting has its benefits, i know that this internship opportunity fits more with the goals i have for this trip--becoming fluent in spanish, challenging myself in as many ways as possible, connecting and sharing, learning about the struggles people face here. ive also been writing a lot, and think i might just try and put together some kind of something, you know ;) throw out my verse into the universe. in fact, uni-verse sounds like a poem i should write about now.
may the sun shine warm upon your face and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
laurita
Saturday, February 6, 2010
the scent of eucalyptus burning
on the road
peguche falls
out of class early, picnicin
happy places
many many things have happened since i last posted. report back from the botanical gardens = my favorite place in quito thus far. i stumbled in on a friday afternoon and found myself nearly all alone with what i like to think god might be like. i purposefully didnt look at the map so that each section was a surprise, and in the back corner was the orchid/butterfly house. when i opened the door i got shivers everywhere and lost my breath. i will definitely be revisiting this hidden paradise in the midst of a crowded, polluted city to paint, to write, to breathe.
last weekend i decided to stay in quito and spend time with the fam. on saturday we went to a church service for my host dad´s mother who passed away one month ago. in the catholic tradition here there is a service immediately after someone dies, one month, and one year. it seems like a good system that allows for time to grieve, reflect, and accept the death of someone close. also, families are not supposed to host parties for 6 months after a death in the family, which seems a little harsh to me. i guess i hope when i die people have a huge party with lots of colorful clothing, cupcakes, cerveza, and sweet music. i mean, extended families have to get together for deaths anyways, might as well make it a sweet fiesta instead of a sob fest (although tears will be perfectly acceptable at my 'life-passing celebratory extravaganza´). after the service the whole fam walked to a restaurant and feasted.
on sunday we got up very early to hit up papallacta, a small town in the north that folks from quito often visit for its hot springs. my host cousin, carlita, also accompanied us and she is a sweetie. the springs were so relaxing, in fact i dont know that ive seen my host dad that relaxed thus far. right next to the caliente agua was a small agua frio pool, and part of the detoxification process is to jump back and forth from the freezing water to the hot water. this in and of itself was a great bonding experience, although i couldnt manage to drag my host mom into the cold water (sounds a lot like another mama i have... :) )
monday and tuesday it was back to spanish class. wednesday we had a class trip to the north, packing so much into 2 days that i dont even remember half the names of towns we visited. what i do remember was a small town that is famous for its crafting of musical instruments. we got to watch a fellow make a rondador. wikipedia says this; The rondador is a set of chorded bamboo panpipes that produces two tones simultaneously. It consists of pieces of cane, placed side by side in order by size and closed at one end, and is played by blowing across the top of the instrument. The rondador is considered the national instrument of Ecuador. and i bought one which i am really excited to learn how to use. we also visited a beautiful waterfall in peguche.
wednesday night we went to a small town in the hills outside of ibarra to have a 'cultural exchange with an indigenous community.' as you can imagine, i was extremely curious as to what this experience would be like. ive noticed a homogenised description of 'indigenous communities,' which in reality are quite diverse. i was also weary of a packaged and contrived experience, a kind of exploitation of culture. but what i found was quite different. the indigenous community of san clemente was devastated, as was the rest of the country, by dollarization in 2001. in response, they started an ecotourism project that would allow them to sustain their culture and traditions while sharing it with foreigners. the community is democratically (as far as i can tell) self-governed and because of this project, has greatly improved their standard of living. and of course, it was absolutely beautiful. almost too picturesque to be real. there were fireflies. we went on a hike through the forest to learn about medicinal plants. we danced the night away. it was so lovely that after our class trip was over, we spent a night in ibarra only to return to san clemente the next day to ride horses up a mountain. at the moment i am lacking words to describe just how beautiful this experience was, so i think i will just post some photos when i can get on a computer that isnt so ancient. oh and the most vivid part about it all, the scent of eucalyptus burning fills the town of san clemente and the surrounding hillsides. mmmmm.
got in last night to quito and today i am going to hit the books at a colombian bakery near by--i have a midterm this week! not sure where the time has gone. this afternoon a couchsurfer is hosting a 'free hugs quito' in la plaza foch, and im not sure i can miss out on this one.
is my english worse? im sure it must be, because i am finding that my english and spanish have an inverse relationship; as my spanish fluency increases my english spelling and grammar takes a dive.
until we cyber-meet again,
your most humble blogger
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