Water to my roots, sun to my leaves :)

When I returned from India a lot of things sort of fell into place. I've been wanting to study abroad in a Spanish speaking country and Ecuador was by far the most awesome (and least expensive) option on the table. With the help of a hefty scholarship, Seattle gray, and an excellent interview, all signs pointed southerly!

So here I am, just back from the most wonderful journey in India, about to embark again.
I will be keeping this same blog so we'll definitely be in touch. I leave January 5th.

All my love and gratitude,
Laurita (meaning "little laura" in spanish :) )

Sometimes it takes a journey to come home

Have you ever done yoga before? Some of my favorite classes have been with teachers that take as much time to experience the effects after a pose as they do for the pose itself. It's like my 3rd grade music teacher who told us music is made up of silence and sound--puzzling and intriguing to a young mind. Both silence and sound, movement and stillness, are equally important in their differences.

After moving, traveling, experiencing, bouncing around spaces I could never imagine, I am at rest, at home. It's only now that I can really feel the effects of my travels, the music, the movement. People have told me I'm completely different, something new has blossomed within me.
I have had a really rough past couple of years, and I feel more peaceful and stable now than I have in a very long time. Even though I was terrified of going to India alone, it is the absolute BEST THING I could have done for myself. I feel a new energy to face injustice around me. I'm finding new ways that I can change my life today that challenge structures of oppression and injustice. There's a flame burning subtly but strongly within my being. I am so grateful for being afforded this life to learn, to share, to turn this lost ship just one degree back in the right direction.

I will briefly share a few things I learned from India that stick out in my mind:
-Self-sufficiency is an illusion. I would not have gotten anywhere without the help of so many people along the way. Having a Lonely Plant guidebook for India is sort of useful but won't get you very far. It's a lovely feeling to let go of control of most everything. Like jumping into the ocean and letting the waves rock you back and forth, you can't predict their movement but there's comfort in uncertainty.
-Plans are arbitrary. We make them but the universe often seems to have something else in mind. GO WITH THE FLOW, it's out of our hands.
-Laugh more, much more. Laugh at most things--it makes the most unpleasant experiences more bearable. Don't take things too seriously
-"Struggle with the saying: You will be needed in the movement when you realize you are not needed in the movement."
-Feel the fear, and DO IT ANYWAY :)

Thank you all for so much love and support.

Your most grateful friend,
Laura

A decent from the clouds: Nilambe Meditation Center

Meditation hall :)

Cloud livin'

hiking up to Nilambe, me myself and I

botanical gardens: Kandy

Tea plantations

Our hotel in Trinco (aka traveling with no guide book is the best thing ever)

Rafa y yo, and a delicious king coconut

Buddha felt like coming home compared to all the gods of India

This might be hard for some of you (cough cough dad:) ) to believe, but I love being quiet. I've arrived back into the city of Kandy from a wonderful retreat at the Nilambe Meditation Center. The schedule is a little something like this: 445 gong wakes us, 5-6 morning meditation, 6-630 the most deliciously needed cup of tea, 630-730 yoga, 730-8 scrumptious mindful breakfast, 8-915 working meditation, 930-11 meditation, 11-12 outdoor meditation, 12-1230 lunchmm, 1230-230 library hours and rest time, 230-4 meditation, 4-430 the precious tea and mindful talking time, 430-530 yoga, 530-630 watching the sunset, 630-730 chanting and meditation, 730 snack, and at 8 there is a talk or we retreat to our rooms.

I love being in a room with people for hours, just sitting, breathing, being quiet. I love walking in a forest with friends, no words needed to form such friendship and no words capable of describing the beauty of that very moment, the majesty of the trees. Words are another structure, a necessary tool, sometimes failing to do justice to a moment, a place, a peace.

When one is quiet, each moment is a fresh, blooming flower. Flashes of unspeakable beauty passed before me, memories of all the things that fill me with awe, all the people. And yet as the present moment whispers of the only truth capable of touching, a smile cracks on my face. What if "god" was a similie for the smile of a rare orchid, a hungry child, a lost friend? What if it was the wind waltzing with your hair, or every single molecule in your body? god, peace, allah, rama, love, jesus, prabhujee, hope, buddha, yahweh, earth.

I long for the breaking of structures, language, borders--so that our uniquely universal experience could decend upon our collective consciousness. We are all someone's child. We all come from love.

If you desire to check out more about this place, which I can imagine you must be, check out their website here :)
http://www.nilambe.org/

Namaste,
Laurita

Remnants of wars and waves: Sri Lanka

For the past week I have been traveling around Sri Lanka. The minute I stepped into this country I felt something very different--more relaxed than India, more tropical, and some other energy that has been unfolding itself to me as I experience more of this land. The military presence is striking, massive, apparently much less than before the war ended. We made a friend, a Tamil, and learned a lot about what people who look a certain way experience here (they are stopped nearly every 30 feet, can't stop on sidewalks, can't take pictures, can't be out late). I have the privilege of hiding behind the veil of my whiteness, and the men with machine guns only smile at me, only ever stopping me to ask where I'm from and never to look for an awaiting bomb.

I met a fellow at the airport who was heading to the east coast, and amazingly a few days later we found him reading on a beach near Trincomalee. He was heading south and then into the mountains with his friend and offered us a ride, which we gladly accepted. Apparently Sri Lanka has some of the best tea in the world and tea country is absolutely incredible (I will try to post pictures later). I noticed a very distinct difference between areas where primarily Tamils live and the mountain villages we visited where there was virtually no military presence. We had the opportunity to see a lot of things I could not have ever imagined -- mountains covered with tea, IDP camps, ruins of homes, villages entirely deserted, homes covered in bullet holes, the rebuilding of lives, some areas seemingly unaffected. The remnants of wars and waves lay heavily here, and yet hope and life shine through it all. There seems to be a general feeling of uncertainty for the future, but things are looking up.

So now I am heading into the mountains for a bit of quiet reflection. I've seen/heard/experienced so much in the past few months and I'm really looking forward to being still. I think in India sometimes the disparity was too much for me to process, and my senses were bombarded with everything that I just didn't allow myself to feel the weight of it all. And here in Sri Lanka, I can't begin to wrap my head around what this country has gone through; decades of war and a tsunami that devastated the land and people. And in it all, the wonderful and the horrific, beauty pervades it all. I am forever grateful for this experience and all the lovely people I have met along the way.

Will be sending you loving kindness from the mountains near Kandy,
Lala

p.s. Happy birthday (early) Grandpa! :)

Don't forget to breathe

My debut in a sari...ahem

Brandon and Anu's bebe

the fam

can you see the sparkles?

yummy lunch at a festival in Hampi
Oceane and Pavan :)

Elephant stables

Hanuman Temple

Heaven, I'd like you to meet earth

"We come in peace...don't hurt me"

Paul this one's for you (the monkey that stalked us the entire way up the mountain--notice the biscuit he stole in the side of his mouth, and of course the coconut)

On the way to Hanuman's Temple

The collective washing of clothes

on the back of a motorbike, shining teeth to greet ancient stones of another time but the same space--arms stretched and ready for take-off. every human we pass yell a kind "heLLO" and smiles dance like rain. the boulders whisper secrets of the sea they once knew (and still hold so near).

Hampi is one of those places where the air seems to sparkle, magical in its unique beauty. Funny how people think traveling alone is lonely--in fact it is much easier to make friends when going solo. I had the best time ever in Hampi, arriving from an overnight bus to the nearby town of Hosped, I made friends that helped me navigate the dark streets and hop a ride to Hampi. I eventually found the Children's Trust and took a small nap before helping out with the kiddies. I met a fellow named Pavan and he was kind enough to take me around the ruins before meeting up with a group of French at a beautiful cafe on the river. The weekend was spent at the restaurant on the river, on the back of a motorbike (I attempted to drive one but kindly, humbly, resigned my position as driver to another...), wandering the ruins, jammin with priests, and smiling.

Back to school again in Bangalore, we are now meeting with ESG (environmental support group). One of their main focuses is the new metro that is being built to solve congestion and pollution problems that plague the city. It's highly controversial because of its cost--to people, businesses, culture, and the environment. The metro requires roads to be widened--destroying businesses, homes, trees, and a culture that relies on the road for almost all aspects of life. It's all so fascinating but I think the lack of sleep and constant stimulation of the past 2 months has finally caught up with me--I've been soooooo tired. Not too tired though to enjoy the incredibly host family that has adopted me. Sunil, Prathibha, Sujet, and Vishu--they've embraced me whole-heartedly. I've been with them the past week or so and I feel like family. The other night we went to a hare krishna darsan (like a worship session that involves just receiving with the eyes) on the top of a mountain in Bangalore. It was Krishna's birthday the other day so this was a kind of celebration/puja. The view was amazing and mesmorizing music filled the air. I had no idea what was going on--I bowed, made prayer hands, threw flowers, touched fire, tried to do what everyone else was doing. It was interesting, surreal, confusing. Today we went to my mamas uncle's for lunch with the whole family. But I couldn't just go in any old salwar, so I got totally blinged out in one of her beautiful saris. Now I don't know if you know anything about saris...but they aren't easy. It's basically a small top and one long piece of cloth that twists and turns and wraps one up like a pig in a blanket. So finally I got all wrapped and folded and pinned...and then I needed to take a trip to the ladies room, quite the delicate endeavor. Let me just say wearing a sari is nice, everyone thinks you're beautiful and it's so lovely that you like Indian attire--but 3 hours was enough for me. I much prefer the loose pants and long tops called salwar kameez (spelling?). Anywho, meeting the family was fun, got a lecture on American history by Prathibha's father, hahahaha.

Well it's time for me to fly, have to get back to the family and kick Sujet's butt in chess I mean play some chess. Oh and another thing, a few days ago I found myself buying a cheap ticket to Sri Lanka as a birthday present to myself. I will be leaving on the 22nd!!

Keep smilin,
Lama (the name that my host family had listed for me)

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.

But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go beore I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

A celebration of questions unanswered

I have been wanting to update for awhile but things have been so busy/wonderful/confusing that everytime I sat down I had no idea where to start. So I will just begin with the knowledge that there aren't enough words to describe all that has happened and that my thoughts are very scattered.

I feel so lucky to have these experiences, to be with a group that shares a similar vision for the world--and therefore shares similar struggles. I am grateful for space to discuss really difficult ideas. We've talked a lot about how to take care of ourselves while working for social justice, living in a world of unimaginable suffering. It's easier to say it's too big and too bad to touch, but to dive in knowing how difficult it will be is what truly makes my heart rejoice.

We have been working with a women's rights group here in Bangalore, consisting of 5 incredible women. Their strength gives me courage and hope to continue the struggle in all dimensions of life. We visited with a union of garment workers a few days ago. And when we talk about sweatshops around the globe we are talking about women, who make of the majority of workers. It's important to recognize this when speaking about rights of sweatshop workers as well as exploring why this type of work is dominated by women. Talking with them and hearing how they organize against atrocious abuses of human rights was so fascinating to me. I do a lot of organizing in Seattle with labor rights, much of the time involving sweatshops abroad. Activism looks different in Seattle than here in Bangalore, and I must humbly acknowledge the privileges I hold--that I am not directly affected by these abuses, that I am a college student, that I have the ability to "choose" which injustices to fight. At the same time, I do not remove myself from the equation--I am a part of the system as a consumer, as a woman, and as a human being. This is a beautiful thing because this means I am as much a part of the problem as I am of the solution :)

We also met with a rural women's federation in a town called Burgaum. These women traveled a long way just to come talk with us, to try and give us a small idea of what they are doing. They started organizing by creating small self-help groups to create a space to talk about struggles and support eachother. They have grown to represent over 500 women in rural communities and work together to address issues of domestic violence, access to resources, and gender inequality. To be in the same room as these women made me feel so humbled. They did not have a western NGO come in and tell them they were being oppressed, they have truly created a grassroots movement that addresses injustice directly and immediately.

Yesterday we met with a group that supports LGBT rights...wonderful, still processing and have very few words. I've been thinking a lot about how language perpetuates oppression...and therefore how language can be a vehicle for social justice. Not sure exactly what this means for me, but I am excited to explore this more.

Tonight I am taking a train to Hampi where I will stay at a Children's Trust and do a little bit of volunteering over a long weekend.
"The Hampi Children’s Trust ( HCT ) is a non-profitmaking
organisation , based in the ancient historic town of Hampi
( aka Vijayanagara – “ City of Victory ” ) ,
the fabled capital of the Vijayanagara
Empire , in the state of Karnataka , India. We have
applied for Public Charitable Trust status under
Indian law ( having instucted Mr Mohan , a lawyer in
Hospet ) and have also sent the appropriate
registration forms to the Charity Commission in the
UK , for formal registation as a Charity.
The aim of the Trust is to promote + improve the
educational prospects of those young children ( aged 4 to
16 years ) living in Hampi Bazaar who currently do
not receive an education , primarily because their
parents do not allow them to attend school , pefering
instead to send them out begging for money
from the many Westerners who visit the
magnificent Hampi site during the tourist season .
Without a formal education , the prospects for these
children is bleak ."

One of the women we've been working with said this, "Let there not be closure. Let there be questions, let them grow with us, sit with us -- let it be okay."


That's all for now. Love you all soooo much!

Laura :)

An outpouring of self, a world of profit and patriarchy, a rough draft, another world vision

Wow. Yesterday we went to a women's court called "India Court of Women on Dowry and Related Forms of Violence against Women." My eyes and heart were ripped open to the suffering of millions of women around the world, but particuarly in south asia. I had heard of dowry deaths (actually murders) and knew a bit about it, but had absolutely no idea that violence and deaths have been increasing rapidly since the early 90s due to increasing commodification and value of profit over people. Dowry has become a way for a man and his family to increase their economic status, making the idea of "wife" and "marriage" into an economic, profit-maximizing endeavor. Some of the bravest women I have ever seen stood up yesteray to finally have their voices heard. An auditorium of hundreds of people sat all day just to listen. Listen to stories of intense brutality, deaths, torture, lies--things that have become so normalized that they aren't even shocking to the public or so common that they make no sound. Women are often burned by their husbands or in-laws in what is labeled by police as a "stove burst" or "kitchen accident" after which the husband can remarry another woman for another dowry.

It's really difficult to sum up the day, and certainly only your presence there would do justice to such an incredible experience.
Here is an article about the court.
http://sify.com/news/fullstory.php?a=jh2t4dbgcca&title=Bangalore_dowry_court_hears_harrowing_stories_demands_stringent_law
And here is the website for the courts of women:
www.vimochana.in/blog

Anyways, as I sat there a fire was ignited (or reignited) perhaps within me. I felt so incredibly at home with such amazingly strong women. The historic oppression of women and its tight grip on the world today continually blows my mind. Sometimes the situation seems so hopeless, but it is AMAZING how many people are working around the world for justice and equality. Like Anu was saying, the greater the oppression the harder and more passionately people are fighting back. I had a feeling yesterday, that I must work for the rights of women. I cannot do anything else, I cannot live my life any other way. This is pretty incredible for me because I have been feeling pulled in a million directions for my whole life but this seems so clear. As I sat there I began spilling out all the things in my heart and this is what came out...

why should i not be crying
when my sisters around the globe are being sold as commodities--a slave for an awaiting husband and family.

why should i not be crying
when a girl of age 9 is sewn up again to be "pure" for an awaiting customer.

why should i not be crying
when the woman who claws her way up to leadership is beaten down by an entire nation,
when we live in a world where violence against women is so normalized that everywhere we go we must be afraid of being beaten or raped,
when a beautiful baby girl is murdered because the burden of a female-a dowry, is too great for a family to bare,
when my brothers are learning through pornography that women are objects--trashcans for the disposal of waste in the forms of violence, aggression, and objectification.

why should i not be crying
when my body is commodified, objectified, packaged, sold to greedy eyes, used and abused by media everywhere.
when people i love the most mark my pain as an overreaction, my passion simply the product of a far too "liberal, feminist" education (the daggers cut too deep for words to embody)

why should we not be crying!?!
because within a world of such pain and suffering there STILL exists hope.
why should we not be crying
to rejoice in the unity and solidarity we have created amongst so much fragmentation.

listen to our tears,
tears that hold light in a world gripped by darkness.
LISTEN, and you will hear the power to burn out injustice and inequality forever.


"I am a woman offering 2 flowers whose roots are twin hope and justice. Let us begin"
-Alice Walker

Culture shockin' in the Garden City

What an amazingly epic journey from north to south. I took a 48 hour train from Varanasi to Bangalore. My lovely friend Shiva accompanied me to the train station, which was very nice considering it was late and I didn't know where I was going.

Let me just say, I am so in love with India. I particularly love train rides. I brought 2 large books but only red about 4 pages throughout the entire journey. I boarded the train late Friday night and managed to find my lower birth amongst the tiers of snoring men. One guy woke up and was assisting me, giving advice about where to put my bags and asking about me. Most people don't like the lower birth because it is shared space during the day time compared to the solitude of the upper birth. I love it because at night I can look behind my head and watch the stars dance by. I made many new friends on the train, mostly older business men. I managed to teach them how to play sudoku (kind of) and we had a tournament! We also talked about everything...my life, their life, womens rights, food, religion. They bought me loads of chai and we had a lovely time. I found myself smiling and laughing the whole way to Bangalore. 48 hours wasn't 48 hours at all, but a timeless space of joy and contentment--a moment that embodied something a crazy yoga teacher once said, "no aversion, no grasping."

I managed to make it to the hostel late last night and met my roommates. Strange, I had some pretty weird culture shock being around other Americans in the south of India, which has a very different feel than the north.
I must admit, I miss the healing winds and holy waters of the Ganga (among all the beautiful people I have met along the way) but I know Bangalore holds another kind of beauty.

Today was the first day of our program, a bit of a shock to my brain. I was assigned a hypothetical research assignment and have been exploring a particular neighborhood here in Bangalore. I will write more when I get the chance!

Muuuuuuah,
lala

The sun, my heart

An offering of love

Full eclipse, speechless

The best view in the world

Varanasi is a magical place

Paharganj lovin

Wow, what a day! Arrived in Varanasi early yesterday morning where our friend Tarun picked us up. We rested for a bit, as I hadn't slept all night on the train, and stumbled into the holy city. After wandering through narrow alleyways, the river Ganga revealed herself magically to me. I walked along the ghats in a blissful trance. It was quiet, only the wind and the leaves whispered softly (and the guys trying to scam me into going somewhere and buying some thing :) ).

Last night we met a lovely man named Shiva who offered to take us out on his boat this morning--just what we were looking for! We got up at 4 to make our way to the river, meet up with Shiva, and set sail. The sky was cloudy, but as the sun began to rise the clouds parted for one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Slowly the sun hid behind the moon, and as the last bit of sun disappeared, people began yelling and praying! Thousands of people on the shore prayed and bathed and prayed--even Shiva who said he had seen a hundred eclipses was stunned and began praying. I am told that many people believe God is in trouble when there is an eclipse. Time hung in the air as the darkness enveloped us all, and all I could do was smile.

Holding you in my heart,
Laurina

p.s. check this out http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/NEWS/India/Centurys-longest-total-solar-eclipse-begins/articleshow/4805367.cms

Organized chaos, unified movement

Paharaganj, backpacker central of Delhi
Flowing near Manali

I never thought we would actually get here

Eating my mango scraps, as I took this picture I realized he and I were sitting in the exact same position... :)
What we were up against all week in Rishikesh, they throw the colorful strutures into the Ganges and apparently indulge in many mind-altering substances *wink* (which explains a lot, and really eases my mind about these men, considering how horribly we were treated)

Arrived yesterday in Delhi again after an interesting week in Rishikesh. We didn't get the peaceful spiritual experience like everyone says, but then again, absolutely nothing here is ever what you expect. It's really quite wonderful actually, expecting that things will be difficult/confusing/completely opposite what people say. Then, when it's easy it's a pleasant surprise. Trying to get south to Bangalore has been quite the task. After many travel agents, hours online, and multiple trips to the train I have a train ticket. Should be very interesting being on a train for 2 days, I am excited to have this experience.

I've decided to take back my statement about India's driving being insane. Upon first experience, it does seem pretty ridiculous. After spending a bit of time here I've found that it is actually quite the opposite. Cars drive within inches of eachother, so in tune with eachother's movement that there are no crashes (that I have seen yet). People, rickshaws, cars, dogs, all move like a wave to the beat of a very distant, but deeply familar beat. The best way I can put it into words is the title of this post, although I'm sure on long train rides to come I will figure out a better way. Just trying to convey a little piece of what it feels like here.

Love you all very much!

Laurita