Damp shoes, damp hearts

Last night we began our journey from Manali to Rishikesh...we made the mistake of taking someone's advice about an "easy" way to get there, and ended up taking one very long bus that shook the life out of me and bruised my knees. Then we hopped on a train, well I suppose pushed and shoved is a better word. Then we ended up in a train station in Ambala (sp?) with soooo many people all wearing orange that liked to circle us wherever we went. After asking about 10 people which platform the train would be we took the average of the anwers and figured it would be at platform 2. We waited and the crowd grew. As the train came closer people started to stir, push, yell, clap. The train pulled up and the blood bath began! It was already packed full, people hanging out the windows and doors and still hundreds more trying to get in! It was incredible, there was no way would be able to get on...so we said to hell with this we will try and get a taxi. That is always quite interesting, we had a circle of men following us around until we finally found a guy with a car to take us to Rishikesh! Now, apparently this month is Shiva's month and there is a massive pilgrimmage/celebration? happening here in Haridwar and Rishikesh. This meant the roads were blocked and people were everywhere. Somehow the driver paid off the police and we got a little bit closer to where we wanted to be. We paid our driver and began the trek to find a place to sleep. Because of the massive spiritual gathering, there were men in orange (Shiva's color, I think) walking in packs shouting and laughing at us and yelling things...and THEN it started to rain. It rained so hard. All we could do was laugh and laugh with our lack of sleep, hunger, and exhaustion. It was then that we realized we had walked a long way in the wrong direction. So we turned around, everyone still laughing at the soaking white women, and made our way to the Ganges. We cross the holy river as the storm started to pick up--the footbridge began to shake! From there it was another 5k of helplessly wandering until we made it to some guesthouse. Everything I own is wet, except for my passport (which I cleverly put in a ziploc for exactly such times). There isn't enough room at the guesthouse for the 3 of us all to have a bed, so you know what that means?? PILLOWFIGHT!!!

On a completely different note, I've been thinking a lot about gender, especially during 14 hour sleepless bus rides. Being a man or woman (or being perceived as one in a gender binary) is, of course, a very different experience wherever one is in the world. It is definitely interesting being a white woman in India.
It blows my mind that is so universally accepted that women are less safe than men. We can't go out late at night, can't walk alone, can't trust many men. My head spins, what is the root of all of this? WHY is there so much gender-based violence? Why should I be afraid of rape as woman but almost never as a man? Why is there this notion that my body is something another person is entitled to? Can we not see that this is such an obvious manifestation of really serious and deep inequality? I am trying really hard not to perpetuate or participate in stereotypes about men but I honestly feel I am respected very little. Perhaps this is because I am an American woman and there are many ideas about us. Of course I don't have the answers. I try and find a reason for the way things are, but the deeper I dig the more empty my hands become.

Well, today was a really rough day, but we had a nice dinner and I know I will sleep very well. I am really grateful to be sharing this experience with two lovely women who I can laugh a lot with. Laughing is very important.

Humbly,
Laura

p.s. being with no Americans, my accent is starting to sound reeaally weird....perhaps I'll come back with a Polish/English/American fusion, hmmm

p.p.s. pictures tomorrow? perhaps, if the gods of technology allow ;)